Luke Ford writes: Joey Kurtzman (a co-founder of Jewcy.com) talks to Luke Ford about this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deut. 7-11). Chabad Torah Commentary Aish HaTorah
Friday, July 30, 2010
Luke Ford, Joey Kurtzman On Eikev VIII
Luke Ford writes: Joey Kurtzman (a co-founder of Jewcy.com) talks to Luke Ford about this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deut. 7-11). Chabad Torah Commentary Aish HaTorah
Luke Ford, Joey Kurtzman On Eikev VII
Luke Ford writes: Joey Kurtzman (a co-founder of Jewcy.com) talks to Luke Ford about this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deut. 7-11). Chabad Torah Commentary Aish HaTorah
Luke Ford, Joey Kurtzman On Eikev V
Luke Ford writes: Joey Kurtzman (a co-founder of Jewcy.com) talks to Luke Ford about this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deut. 7-11). Chabad Torah Commentary Aish HaTorah
Luke Ford, Joey Kurtzman On Eikev VI
Luke Ford writes: Joey Kurtzman (a co-founder of Jewcy.com) talks to Luke Ford about this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deut. 7-11). Chabad Torah Commentary Aish HaTorah
Luke Ford, Joey Kurtzman On Eikev IV
Luke Ford writes: Joey Kurtzman (a co-founder of Jewcy.com) talks to Luke Ford about this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deut. 7-11). Chabad Torah Commentary Aish HaTorah
Luke Ford, Joey Kurtzman On Eikev III
Luke Ford writes: Joey Kurtzman (a co-founder of Jewcy.com) talks to Luke Ford about this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deut. 7-11). Chabad Torah Commentary Aish HaTorah
Luke Ford, Joey Kurtzman On Eikev II
Luke Ford writes: Joey Kurtzman (a co-founder of Jewcy.com) talks to Luke Ford about this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deut. 7-11). Chabad Torah Commentary Aish HaTorah
Luke Ford, Joey Kurtzman On Eikev
Luke Ford writes: Joey Kurtzman (a co-founder of Jewcy.com) talks to Luke Ford about this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deut. 7-11). Chabad Torah Commentary Aish HaTorah
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Serial Dating Los Angeles X
Ally writes the “Serial Datist” blog. She’s only 29 years old. She was raised Orthodox but in adulthood she’s become a tad less Orthodox.
Serial Dating Los Angeles VII
Ally writes the “Serial Datist” blog. She’s only 29 years old. She was raised Orthodox but in adulthood she’s become a tad less Orthodox.
Serial Dating Los Angeles IX
Ally writes the “Serial Datist” blog. She’s only 29 years old. She was raised Orthodox but in adulthood she’s become a tad less Orthodox.
Serial Dating Los Angeles VIII
Ally writes the “Serial Datist” blog. She’s only 29 years old. She was raised Orthodox but in adulthood she’s become a tad less Orthodox.
Serial Dating Los Angeles IV
Ally writes the “Serial Datist” blog. She’s only 29 years old. She was raised Orthodox but in adulthood she’s become a tad less Orthodox.
TheShiksaMenace: put luke in a thigh lock
YourMoralLeader: ok
TheShiksaMenace: LETS SEE THIS
User TheShiksaMenace changed their name to ChaimAmalek.
ChaimAmalek: Luke, you should drill her on torah before the night is out
ChaimAmalek: You are the shiznet
ChaimAmalek: he has a spare lulav
ChaimAmalek: and an esrog
ChaimAmalek: Show us your abs
apikoris: what sports does she excel at ?
ChaimAmalek: I like this chick’s genes
ChaimAmalek: Are you ovulating?
apikoris: this should be on LukeFord.com, not .net
Serial Dating Los Angeles V
Ally writes the “Serial Datist” blog. She’s only 29 years old. She was raised Orthodox but in adulthood she’s become a tad less Orthodox.
Luke Ford Interviews: Serial Dating Los Angeles II
Ally writes the “Serial Datist” blog. She’s only 29 years old. She was raised Orthodox but in adulthood she’s become a tad less Orthodox. TheShiksaMenace: Jews do to much dating and not enough mating.
TheShiksaMenace: the secular, that is
TheShiksaMenace: date date date….dates are for eating, not socializing.
TheShiksaMenace: Are you two going to get to know each other better after this?
TheShiksaMenace: Is this a bais yakov girl? I’ve heard of them
TheShiksaMenace: Now translate, please
TheShiksaMenace: Luke, this is a good look for you.
TheShiksaMenace: Impressive
TheShiksaMenace: What happens if one trips and accidentally has beah with a needah?
TheShiksaMenace: Vas schreibt der Gemarra?
apikoris: ask her why Jewish chicks worship African Americans and want to have sex with Black men
Luke Ford Interviews: Serial Dating Los Angeles
Ally writes the “Serial Datist” blog. She’s only 29 years old. She was raised Orthodox but in adulthood she’s become a tad less Orthodox.
maven: i want to know, as a serial datist, does she have a list of shiduch questions?
maven: what does she think of your 4 hour sex rule? Now’s your chance to validate whether girls agree with the theory
apikoris: ask her if it’s true that when a guy says he’s been with 9 women, he’s been with 3, and when a woman says she’s been with 3, she’s actually been with 300
maven: Has she done jdate? where does an ex-religious person find dates? What religious world did she come from?
Liami Lawrence Interview VIII
He hosts a radio show in Los Angeles and he hosts regular parties for Jewish singles.
We talk on my live cam about his kiruv work introducing striptease to Israel, his flirtation with Christianity last year and his views on this week’s Torah portion.
Liami Lawrence Interview VI
He hosts a radio show in Los Angeles and he hosts regular parties for Jewish singles.
We talk on my live cam about his kiruv work introducing striptease to Israel, his flirtation with Christianity last year and his views on this week’s Torah portion.
Liami Lawrence Interview IX
He hosts a radio show in Los Angeles and he hosts regular parties for Jewish singles.
We talk on my live cam about his kiruv work introducing striptease to Israel, his flirtation with Christianity last year and his views on this week’s Torah portion.
Liami Lawrence Interview VII
He hosts a radio show in Los Angeles and he hosts regular parties for Jewish singles.
We talk on my live cam about his kiruv work introducing striptease to Israel, his flirtation with Christianity last year and his views on this week’s Torah portion.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Liami Lawrence Interview IV
He hosts a radio show in Los Angeles and he hosts regular parties for Jewish singles.
We talk on my live cam about his kiruv work introducing striptease to Israel, his flirtation with Christianity last year and his views on this week’s Torah portion. PeterLutherChristian: The Jewish Federation is an employment agency . . . for the people it hires.
PeterLutherChristian: Protestant Charities does it differently
PeterLutherChristian: The way Judaism works is, if you are not money hungry, you are driven out.
PeterLutherChristian: So over the generations, the Jews come to take on these money-grubbing traits.
PeterLutherChristian: I don’t think Esther actually “married” a goy.
PeterLutherChristian: You men are destined to become Christian.
PeterLutherChristian: 15 Minutes
User PeterLutherChristian changed their name to ShmulyStreimel.
ShmulyStreimel: Any man who can talk a Jewess into bed after just 15 minutes is . . . something.
Liami Lawrence Interview V
He hosts a radio show in Los Angeles and he hosts regular parties for Jewish singles.
We talk on my live cam about his kiruv work introducing striptease to Israel, his flirtation with Christianity last year and his views on this week’s Torah portion.
Liami Lawrence Interview III
He hosts a radio show in Los Angeles and he hosts regular parties for Jewish singles.
We talk on my live cam about his kiruv work introducing striptease to Israel, his flirtation with Christianity last year and his views on this week’s Torah portion. PeterLutherChristian: The final solution to the problems of the disaffected Jew is to be found in the welcoming arms of Christ Jesus.
PeterLutherChristian: In my “kehilla”, you would be welcome by comely lasses eager to win a new soul for God.
PeterLutherChristian: “Spiritual” is not Jewish.
PeterLutherChristian: To be a Jew is to study the talmud and sell things to goyim. And that’s not you, my friend. You belong in Church.
PeterLutherChristian: Beside, and in case you haven
PeterLutherChristian: haven’t noticed, WASP girls are far better looking than most Jewesses.
PeterLutherChristian: This is God’s way of informing the Jewish man where he needs to be.
PeterLutherChristian: Israel needs to admit Palestinians the way we do Mexicans. PROBLEM SOLVED
PeterLutherChristian: Jews flee to cults because they have been poisoned against Jesus by their rabbis
PeterLutherChristian: EXACTLY
PeterLutherChristian: The Jewish Federation is an employment agency . . . for the people it hires.
PeterLutherChristian: Protestant Charities does it differently
PeterLutherChristian: The way Judaism works is, if you are not money hungry, you are driven out.
Liami Lawrence Interview II
He hosts a radio show in Los Angeles and he hosts regular parties for Jewish singles.
We talk on my live cam about his kiruv work introducing striptease to Israel, his flirtation with Christianity last year and his views on this week’s Torah portion.
PeterLutherChristian: Still more useless masturbation from Luke Ford.
bozo: this interview is going straight to DVD
PeterLutherChristian: Really, this is your career in a nutshell. Always falling short, never going that extra yard (never mind mile) that might have gotten you a career, money, respect, and women.
PeterLutherChristian: Just coasting.
PeterLutherChristian: No wonder no one in your kehila wants to make a shidduch for you
PeterLutherChristian: What is that guy on the right staring at?
PeterLutherChristian: I’ve no idea what he is saying.
bozo: is he speaking English?
PeterLutherChristian: I think he’s trying to propose marriage to Luke
PeterLutherChristian: He’s saying “I think I would make a good husband for you, Luke. I would provide you with a decent apartment, new clothes, and a better car”
PeterLutherChristian: Luke answers: “But how would I reconcile this with the toirah?”
Liami Lawrence Interview
He hosts a radio show in Los Angeles and he hosts regular parties for Jewish singles.
We talk on my live cam about his kiruv work introducing striptease to Israel, his flirtation with Christianity last year and his views on this week’s Torah portion.
bozo: sounds like a swarm of 1 billion bees buzzing…. can’t hear your guest…
PeterLutherChristian: Luke, this is inaudible. Why bother?
PeterLutherChristian: Do you have a thousand of those vuvuzelas playing in the background?
bozo: i was thinking that too
PeterLutherChristian: KNOCK KNOCK…..nobody can hear you LUke.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Luke Ford 19th Century Germany
The mention comes about 44:40 into his lecture.
I don’t quite understand all the Hebrew or Yiddishisms. Can someone translate them for me?
Rabbi Aaron Rakeffet-Rothkoff says on YuTorah.com: "You would think was an article in the Jewish Journal of Los Angeles one week ago. Who’s that guy? Luke Ford? You might think that this is Luke Ford in what is that called? A blog. This guy knows all the gossip, the ins and outs, the lashon hara of the Orthodox world. He’s an [expert] in not poskim, but in all the inner workings of the Orthodox world. It sounds like Luke Ford is quoting a rabbi in a sermon today."
Insecure Alexander Technique Teachers
Robert Rickover writes in vol 2 issue 1 of Direction Journal:
London teacher Kri Ackers said: "The thing to remember about Alexander teachers is that we’re all insecure as hell."
Why is this?
Alexander’s lack of formal training and his low status origins (Tasmania, Australia).
Lack of legal standing for the alexander teaching profession: anyone can call himself an Alexander teacher.
Divisiveness within the Alexander world: after Alexander’s death, several of his students established their own training courses. These men and women had very different interpretations of Alexander’s work, and very different approaches to teaching. These differences have led to bitter disputes with members of the various "lineages" disparaging each other’s work.
Why Don't Republicans Run On Hope?
Dennis Prager said on his radio show today: "Their arguments are not based on reality. They believe that higher taxes will help the economy. Paul Krugman won a Nobel prize in economics and he believes that.
"The notion of hope. Have we had in my lifetime a Republican hope president? Remember Bill Clinton? The man from Hope, Arkansas. The candidate of hope, it was the most famous bumper sticker and poster of Barack Obama. How come there are never hope candidates from the Republican party? Because we do not use that rhetoric. We’re not into dreams, into hopes, into dogma. Those are more the provinces of the Left. We are sober in our assessment of the perfectability of human beings. We have a much less romantic view of humanity. Leftists and liberals believe in world opinion. World opinion is either bored with human suffering or on the side of the cruel."
Dennis Prager writes this week:
Using Psychology As A Weapon
"Do you think you’re attracted to emotionally unavailable women?" she had asked.
She was sure he was still enmeshed in his parents. By contrast, she said, she had made great strides in this area.
She was wise and all-knowing. He was but a helpless infant she was tiring of.
She used psychology as a weapon. She had no training in the field but she’d had years of therapy and she had read a few books.
Sunday night she’d suggested he talk things over with his therapist and then call her.
"What does your therapist say about that?"
What a common question in relationships. He feared that even he had said that, not just in his current relationship, but in previous ones.
The Prophet Mohammed
Why do non-Muslims keep saying, “The prophet Mohammed”?
It’s so patronizing. We don’t do that for other religions. Do we say the prophet Joseph Smith? Or the prophet L. Ron Hubbard? Or the prophet Ellen G. White?
Dennis Prager made this point on his radio show today. “Does Friedman write the Christ Jesus? Or the prophet Moses? Of course not. It’s so politically correct.”
Tom Friedman recently wrote about why are moderate Muslims not protesting massacres such as the one at Fort Hood.
Where is the good being done in the name of Islam?
You keep telling us what Islam isn’t. Please tell us what it is. Why do a million Muslims pour into the streets to protest cartoons of Mohammed but not one will go into the streets to protest mass murder in the name of God?
The Disposable Single Man
I’m reading a book about mercenaries in Iraq called Big Boy Rules.
On page 83, the author Steve Fainaru writes: “Sometimes Cote would say it didn’t really matter if something happened to him, because he didn’t have a wife, or kids, or anyone he was responsible for.”
Women's Self-Worth
Dennis Prager discussed this on his second hour of his nationally-syndicated radio show today.
He said that men tend to get most of their self-worth from their work and that married men in particular tend to work longer hours than married women.
I think that in religious life, men get more of their self-worth from their religion. Some get more from their religion than from their work.
Most attractive women, particularly those unmarried, seem to get most of their self-worth from their looks. Younger women seem to get almost all of their self-worth from their looks.
Making Jokes About Marriage
I’ve never known a girlfriend who enjoyed me making jokes about marrying her, making pretend offers to marry her. They never laughed. They never found it funny.
As soon as you can laugh about something, it means it’s not a big deal. As soon as a society starts making jokes about adultery, it means that adultery is not such a big deal.
Jewish humor didn’t develop until the Enlightenment and it chiefly developed among secular Jews. Orthodox Jews who are funny do it, I think, out of an internalization of our society’s secular-religious split (that there is a place for religion and a place to keep religion out such as the public square). The more religious the Jew, in my experience, the least likely he is to be funny. The funniest Jews are overwhelmingly the most secular. They are the most fearless. They don’t have whole swathes of life that are off-limits to humor because of holiness concerns.
I think the Talmud says something about everyone knows what happens on a wedding night between the newly married couple, but anyone who makes jokes about it does not go to the world to come.
I think the more secular I am, the funnier my writing is. The more religious I am, the less funny. It is much harder for me to make jokes about Judaism when I’m taking it most seriously.
REO Speedwagon's Hi Infidelity
Nineteen eighty was a tough year for me. On the afternoon of Yom Kippur 1979, my father delivered a controversial talk before a thousand people at our Seventh-Day Adventist Pacific Union College (PUC) in the Napa Valley questioning the foundational doctrine of the church — choseness.
In January, my parents moved to Washington D.C. so my dad could organize a defense of his views. I stayed behind at PUC with friends. I was out of my dad’s shadow and I could have a childhood and do all the things normal kids do such as eat candy and talk to girls.
I started listening to pop music, tuning in at night to radio stations KNBR and KFRC.
In the summer of 1980, my father had his ministerial credentials taken away by the church and he moved to Auburn and set up his own non-denominational evangelical Christian foundation Good News Unlimited.
I was outside the warm bosom of the Adventist community for the first time and I felt desolate. My father said we belonged to the invisible church of Jesus Christ but that did not make for much practical community.
Abortion - Something Women Go Through
“Every woman I know has had one,” a secular Jewess said to me today. “It’s just something that a woman goes through. All of my mother’s friends. None of them wanted one.”
In my experience Jewish women feel a lot less guilt about abortion, pre-marital sex and oral sex than do their Christian sisters.
I remember talking to my secular Jewish girlfriend in 1993. We hadn’t been safe.
“What would happen if you got pregnant?” I asked.
Rabbs: Torah Portion Eikev (Deuteronomy 7-11)
Luke Ford writes: I discuss this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with Rabbi Hershel "Rabbs" Remer.
Rabbs: Torah Portion Eikev (Deuteronomy 7-11) X
Luke Ford writes: I discuss this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with Rabbi Hershel "Rabbs" Remer.
Rabbs: Torah Portion Eikev (Deuteronomy 7-11) IX
Luke Ford writes: I discuss this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with Rabbi Hershel "Rabbs" Remer.
Rabbs: Torah Portion Eikev (Deuteronomy 7-11) VIII
Luke Ford writes: I discuss this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with Rabbi Hershel "Rabbs" Remer.
Rabbs: Torah Portion Eikev (Deuteronomy 7-11) VII
Luke Ford writes: I discuss this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with Rabbi Hershel "Rabbs" Remer.
Rabbs: Torah Portion Eikev (Deuteronomy 7-11) VI
Luke Ford writes: I discuss this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with Rabbi Hershel "Rabbs" Remer.
Rabbs: Torah Portion Eikev (Deuteronomy 7-11) V
Luke Ford writes: I discuss this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with Rabbi Hershel "Rabbs" Remer.
Rabbs: Torah Portion Eikev IV
Luke Ford writes: I discuss this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with Rabbi Hershel "Rabbs" Remer.
Rabbs: Torah Portion Eikev (Deuteronomy 7-11) III
Luke Ford writes: I discuss this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with Rabbi Hershel "Rabbs" Remer.
Rabbs: Torah Portion Eikev (Deuteronomy 7-11)
Luke Ford writes: I discuss this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with Rabbi Hershel "Rabbs" Remer.
Rabbs: Torah Portion Eikev (Deuteronomy 7-11)
Luke Ford writes: I discuss this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with Rabbi Hershel "Rabbs" Remer.
Rabbs: Torah Portion Eikev (Deuteronomy 7-11) II
Luke Ford writes: I discuss this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with Rabbi Hershel "Rabbs" Remer.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Torah Portion Eikev VIII
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with the Torah columnist of Tikkun magazine.
Neil Dublinsky ZT”L
I’m eating lunch at 12:20 p.m. today in front of my desktop computer and surfing around Facebook when I chance upon this announcement on a friend’s page: “BARUCH DAYAN HA EMES: Our Beloved Friend NEIL DUBLINSKY (“Neil Dee” on Facebook) passed away earlier this morning. There will a memorial service this Sunday @ 1:00 pm at Beth Jacob 9030 W. Olympic Blvd., Beverly Hills, CA 90211 . Neil’s leviah will take place in New York.”
Neil Dublinsky? It can’t be the Neil Dublinsky I know. I just saw him a few months ago at the Happy Minyan. He seemed full of life.
Is it the Neil I know?
I message a couple of friends and hear back: “Yes you definitely knew him. He passed away from complications due to lung cancer Friday morning (he never smoked in his life). Please come to the service if you can.”
Whoa. Jesus H. Christ. How did my friend die and I didn’t even know he was sick? How disconnected am I? I know I’ve pulled back over the past two years, but how did this happen? How far have I fallen? What happened to my humanity?
A blog doth not a life make.
I put on my black undertaker suit and step foot inside Beth Jacob for the first time since October of 2001 when Rabbi Steven Weil kicked me out.
Torah Portion Eikev VII
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with the Torah columnist of Tikkun magazine.
Luke Ford's Lost Journal
Luke Ford writes: I was born the son of a Christian evangelist with a taste for the psychedelic music of Texas-based rockers Bubble Puppy. My dad tried to instill a sense of discipline in me. Upon catching me stealing spoonfuls of brown sugar from a sack he kept on high shelf, he gave me a vicious rap on the noggin with a garden spade. I awoke to find myself chained in the dunny in back of our house. I could hear a monstrous saltwater crocodile � Salty, I called him � thrashing about in the muck below. Above me, I saw the web of a venomous red black spider. At the door, I heard the menacing hiss of a death adder. I was deadly scared, but I knew that I had to go on. I had some blogging to do.
Spiral Staircase Of Life
Dr. Stephen Marmer: “We work and rework all of the main challenges of development. Every time we do it, we can add to our happiness and reduce our unhappiness because we get another shot at working at a problem that has come up in the past and will come up again in the future. No problem is ever sold solved 100%.
“Imagine you are climbing a spiral staircase in the tower and at each vista, there’s a window. You get to see the fields from a different angle.
“There are four basic developmental challenges — dependency, mastery, grandiosity and feeling small in a big world.
“You will face these challenges over and over again.
“We will experience these windows one way in childhood, another way in adolescence, another way in early adulthood…and another way in the geriatric phase.
Torah Portion Eikev IX
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with the Torah columnist of Tikkun magazine.
Luke Ford Is A Lost Little Boy
I think I’m a nasty piece of work — angry, vengeful, and spiteful.
I am so ashamed. I hate who I am much of the time.
Thank the good L-rd my psycho-therapists don’t view me this way.
They all look at me as a sad little boy.
All of them have this perspective. I’ll confess in therapy to the shameful things I’ve done. I’ll confess to how I view myself. I’ll berate myself all session about my dirty deeds done dirt cheap. I’m a big sinner! I’ve spurned G-d’s love! And then at the end, they’ll say, “I see you as a lost little boy looking for love. There’s just an aura of sadness and brokenness about you.”
Thank G-d for psychology!
Torah Portion Eikev III
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with the Torah columnist of Tikkun magazine.
Torah Portion Eikev VI
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with the Torah columnist of Tikkun magazine.
Torah Portion Eikev V
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with the Torah columnist of Tikkun magazine.
Torah Portion Eikev V
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with the Torah columnist of Tikkun magazine.
Torah Portion Eikev IV
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with the Torah columnist of Tikkun magazine.
Torah Portion Eikev II
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with the Torah columnist of Tikkun magazine.
Torah Portion Eikev (Deuteronomy 7-11)
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Eikev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) with the Torah columnist of Tikkun magazine.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
I'm Afraid To Love
People with a strong sense of self are less afraid to love. They don’t need to know that they will be loved back equally.
I have a weak sense of self. I find out who I am through the reactions I get from others. I write to get reactions. I say things to get reactions. I do things to get reactions.
If you take two days to call me back, I want to take at least three days to return your call.
If you don’t seem excited to see me, I don’t want to seem excited to see you.
If I am sure you are committed to me and exclusive to me, then I can be committed to you. But if you are not devoted to me, I’m not going to be devoted to you. I’m going to wander. There are so many great girls out there who will snap me up.
I see monogamy as a commitment to you. I want to see monogamy as a commitment to myself.
Mel Gibson Vs. Sam Rubin
Jan. 19, 2010. Around 9 am today, I was watching KTLA.
Sam Rubin was tossing some softball questions to Mel Gibson and Gibson just jumped on him. He accused Rubin of a having a dog in the fight about Gibson.
Rubin didn’t realize at first what Gibson was getting at but then it dawned on him that Gibson was referring to Rubin being Jewish.
I couldn’t believe how hostile Gibson was to Sam Rubin. You’d think all the criticism he’s taken for his hateful tirades about Jews would’ve settled Gibson down, along with his 12-step work, but I guess not.
What Use Wife?
First, I want a girl to save my life. Remember when we were driving north on the Pacific Coast Highway Nov. 8? I passed a car and was steaming ahead, not realizing I was in the lane for the southbound traffic. A car was approaching and I did not think about it. You tapped the dashboard on the right and said, “Move over right now.”
And I did. And then I realized what had happened. You had saved my life.
I’m blind in a lot of ways. I say and do a lot of risky and self-defeating and dangerous things. I need help.
Imagine you’re in Commanche country and dozens of Commanches have surrounded you and they want to take your scalp and rape you and leave you dead. If you are one person, you’re always going to have your back turned on some Commanches. But if there are two of you, each one of you can cover 180 degrees of Commanches.
That’s what a relationship is about. You each take 180 degrees of Commanches and protect each other from getting scalped and raped.
Rabbinic Sexual Misconduct
Exactly how many secretaries can he plook before he can no longer stand up at Aish HaTorah on Shuvuot and lecture people about Torah?
Please understand that I do not have a position here. I don’t want this guy exiled from the pulpit. I don’t want him exiled from anywhere. I believe in compassion and forgiveness as much as Barack Obama does.
Perhaps you should know a little about my history so you know where I’m coming from. I marched with Martin Luther King in Selma, Alabama, so African-Americans could have the right to vote. As a kipa-wearing Orthodox Jew, I participated in the Stonewall riots in New York for the glory of God and the dignity of all of His children. I marched with Harvey Milk so that gays could no longer be denied housing simply because of their different way of expressing love. Nobody did more than I did to try to prevent the passing of Proposition 8 in California. I was standing on stage with Barack Obama when he accepted the Democratic nomination and he thanked me in his acceptance speech.
I don’t have any agenda here except to understand how much plooking out of bounds a rabbi can do and still deliver Torah lectures.
I am not a man lacking in bonhomie. I can appreciate how a powerful rabbi can see his secretary as a perquisite of his position. I have found numerous secretaries quite attractive over the years and there but for the grace of God go I, but I don’t get up in shul and lecture people about God and His moral demands. Instead I lead a quiet life. I bother nobody and nobody bothers me.
I Will Never Hurt You
Everybody in every relationship deliberately does things to hurt the ones they love (and hate). You can’t love someone without having a host of other emotions as well, including hate.
If you hate someone, it does not mean you can’t love them.
I hear this saying from women a lot: “I would never deliberately do anything to hurt you.”
It’s a lie.
Women are masters at appearing all sweet while simultaneously sinking their daggers into your psyche.
Until we can each acknowledge how much hatred we have for the other, we can’t make any progress.
It’s the same in all relationships. It’s true of my closest relationships with rabbis. I hated them and I loved them.
I Return To Shul
Over the past 18 months, I spent less time in synagogue than at any point since I started going to shul regularly in the fall of 1993.
Until September 14, I was going through my Orthodox conversion to Judaism and I had so much fear that something would go wrong, I stayed away from shul to narrow my chances of disaster.
Before Rosh Hashanah, I finished the process. But I haven’t hurried back to shul.
I’ve had several reasons for this:
* Over the past year, I’ve dated women who weren’t into Orthodox Judaism. I couldn’t shlep them along to shul and I didn’t want to leave them behind. When given the choice between a hot body in the hovel and an invisible God at shul, I frequently chose to stay home.
* Getting booted from five shuls for my controversial writing took a toll on my psyche. Stepping into shul became scary. It didn’t feel like a safe place. To avoid anything going wrong with anybody, I distanced myself. I didn’t open up to many people. I didn’t engage deeply. I didn’t form many bonds.
Luke Ford Is An Attention Whore
Luke Ford writes: Mary: Maybe it’s the holidays but the extracarricular flirting is reaching critical mass.
Mary: And it’s fun and long-distance, so why stop?
Mary: But since nothing fun is right, it must be wrong.
Mary: Right?
YourMoralLeader: flirting on whose part?
YourMoralLeader: yeah, it is not good, drains your sexual essence
Mary: Others start it, I feed it.
Mary: And feed on it.
Mary: I absolutely live on adoration. I’m an addict. Attention is my drug of choice.
YourMoralLeader: Attention is our substitute for love
Wallaby Nightmares
I’ve been having nightmares about the wallaby again, mate.
When one of those blasted buggers decides to have a go at you, there’s nothing you can do. They’re vicious creatures.
I stare into the wallaby’s black eyes. I’m deadly scared.
“I did it all to honk off my Dad!” I cry.
That’s when the wallaby starts kicking me. Kicking me to bloody pieces. Their back legs are spring-loaded; they’re like bands of steel, mate.
I squeal and begin to sob: “Nay…nay….”
My Dad always warned me I’d grow up to be a ponce. Is this my comeuppance for stealing Cocoa Krispies from the homeless and gloating over the sugary treats?
Friday, July 23, 2010
I See The End From The Beginning
“You see the end of things right from the beginning,” says his therapist.
He’s jolted. “My previous therapist said that,” he says. “Not the one before you, but the one before the one before you. She said I was always prepared for loss. That I always expected the teat to go dry. That I’d just suck away for all I could get because I felt sure it would go dry.”
“Your writing comes first for you,” says his therapist.
“Yes,” he says. “It’s number one. That makes decision-making easy. Everything else in my life, everyone else in my life, is subordinate to my writing. It doesn’t matter if I am lying in the gutter or davening at shul or standing on a porn set. They are all opportunities to write. Each perspective is but raw material in my artistic hand.
“I’m all about the work. I’m ready to sacrifice everything for my art.”
“That sounds very lonely,” says his therapist.
“Yeah, it can be,” he says. “It’s good to have your priorities.
Do You Feel Worthy?
In a 2005 lecture on Deut. 30, Dennis Prager says: “I have a feeling that Christians have a harder time thinking they are worthy.”
“Do you think God is satisfied with the person you are? I have Christians friends who find it incredible that I feel that God is satisfied with me. They’re stunned. They walk around with this deep sense of unworthiness. I haven’t felt unworthy for ten seconds. God could use a picture of me up in Heaven. Dennis is my man.”
Judaism With Muscles
I’ve gone a lot to Chabad shuls over the past few months and they’re totally different from the Modern Orthodox shuls I am used to.
For one thing, many of the Chabadniks I meet have muscles. Few Modern Orthodox Jews I’ve met have muscles.
Most Modern Orthodox Jews I know are college graduates. Most Chabadniks I know are not. They typically own their own businesses.
The Modern Orthodox Jews I know tend to be professionals. Each profession has this code of conduct. This produces different types of people than those who make their own way in the world.
I’m a blogger. I own my own business.
When Modern Orthodox Jews are mad at you, they threaten to tell the rabbi or to sue you or to take you to a Beit Din. They’ll write a letter against you. They’ll take out an ad.
I suspect that if a Chabadnik has a problem with you, he’ll let you know directly. I suspect that many Chabadniks have settled disputes with their fists.
The Torah Is Not In Heaven
A lot of people don’t understand how post-Biblical Judaism developed.
For one thing, there never was a Biblical Judaism. There never was a Judaism limited to the Bible. Before there was a Bible, a Torah, there was an oral tradition that became the Torah and the Bible.
As long as there’s been an oral tradition, there’s been another oral tradition interpreting the oral tradition written down in the Torah and the Bible. They’ve always run together like ham and eggs.
Dennis: “I have no reason to believe that Moses wore a yarmulke. Certainly there was no Hanukkah, no Purim. These are rabbinic holidays. How did Pharisaic law become Jewish?”
I was raised a Protestant. It holds “sola scriptura.” The Bible and the Bible only shall be our creed. Protestantism holds that tradition is not bad but it is a human creation.
Dennis: “How did the rabbis claim authority to make later law? They base it largely on this sentence — the Torah is not in Heaven.”
“A Jew cannot say on law that I got a voice from G-d and I can prove in miracles that I am right.”
“The rabbis say the Torah says follow the majority and…our religion is on earth and we will determine what it is for Jews will do.”
Does G-d Improve?
In a 2005 lecture on Deuteronomy 31, Dennis Prager says: “I don’t think there is a text dated anywhere near the text of the Torah that is so egalitarian in its depiction of women. It’s about as unsexist a text. Some things later in Jewish life became more sexist than the Torah.
“We have this belief that we progress. I was raised with this. That there is an inevitable progression in moral thought.
“That’s why people believe the prophets are more elevated than the Torah, which I do not believe. That is the common belief that you go from this tribal God of vengeance in the Torah to this universal God of justice and compassion in the prophets and as things move on, they get better.
“There was a time in Christian life where it continued. And God got even better in the New Testament. And then Islam said God got even better in the Koran. And then God got even better in the book of Mormon.
“If God gets better, it isn’t God. It’s just human creations of God.”
“I’ve always rejected this notion that God improves as you go along later in the Bible. Jews have believed this, not traditional Jews, but Jewish scholars, who tend to be liberal.”
Luke Ford, Joey Kurtzman On Va-etchanan VIII
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Va'etchanan with Jewcy.com founder Joey Kurtzman.
Luke Ford, Joey Kurtzman On Va-etchanan VII
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Va'etchanan with Jewcy.com founder Joey Kurtzman.
Luke Ford, Joey Kurtzman On Va-etchanan VI
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Va'etchanan with Jewcy.com founder Joey Kurtzman.
Luke Ford, Joey Kurtzman On Va-etchanan V
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Va'etchanan with Jewcy.com founder Joey Kurtzman.
Luke Ford, Joey Kurtzman On Va-etchanan IV
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Va'etchanan with Jewcy.com founder Joey Kurtzman.
Luke Ford, Joey Kurtzman On Va-etchanan
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Va'etchanan with Jewcy.com founder Joey Kurtzman.
Luke Ford, Joey Kurtzman On Va-etchanan III
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Va'etchanan with Jewcy.com founder Joey Kurtzman.
Luke Ford, Joey Kurtzman On Va-etchanan II
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Va'etchanan with Jewcy.com founder Joey Kurtzman.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Second Torah Portion Of Deuteronomy V
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Va'etchanan with Tikkun magazine Torah columnist.
Second Torah Portion Of Deuteronomy IV
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Va'etchanan with Tikkun magazine Torah columnist.
Second Torah Portion Of Deuteronomy II
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Va'etchanan with Tikkun magazine Torah columnist:
Moses pleaded with God to let him cross over and see the land on the other side of the Jordan River. (Deuteronomy 3:23–25.) But God was wrathful with Moses and would not listen, telling Moses never to speak of the matter again, and Moses blamed his punishment on the Israelites. (Deuteronomy 3:26.) God directed Moses to climb the summit of Pisgah and gaze about to look at the land. (Deuteronomy 3:27.) And God told Moses to give Joshua his instructions and imbue him with strength and courage, for Joshua was to lead the people and allot to them the land. (Deuteronomy 3:28.)
Second Torah Portion Of Deuteronomy VIII
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Va'etchanan with Tikkun magazine Torah columnist.
Second Torah Portion Of Deuteronomy VII
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Va'etchanan with Tikkun magazine Torah columnist.
Second Torah Portion Of Deuteronomy VI
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Va'etchanan with Tikkun magazine Torah columnist.
Second Torah Portion Of Deuteronomy III
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Va'etchanan with Tikkun magazine Torah columnist.
Second Torah Portion Of Deuteronomy
Luke Ford writes: I talk about this week's Torah portion of Va'etchanan with Tikkun magazine Torah columnist:
Va'etchanan (ואתחנן — Hebrew for “and I pleaded,” the first word in the parshah) is the 45th weekly Torah portion (parshah) in the annual Jewish cycle of Torah reading and the second in the book of Deuteronomy. It constitutes Deuteronomy 3:23–7:11. Jews in the Diaspora generally read it in late July or August. It is always read on the special Sabbath Shabbat Nachamu, the Sabbath immediately after Tisha B'Av.
As the parshah describes how the Israelites would sin and be banished from the Land of Israel, Jews also read part of the parshah, Deuteronomy 4:25–40, as the Torah reading for the morning (Shacharit) prayer service on Tisha B'Av, which commemorates the destruction of both the First Temple and Second Temple in Jerusalem.
The Tone Of My Blogging Has Changed
Luke Ford writes: Josh: wow luke, the beard has gotten really long. i haven’t been on your webcam in maybe 6 months. you look like you lost weight too
Josh: so i hear you’re officially a member of the tribe
Josh: now that you’re officially in, i’ll send you your own copy of the “protocols of the elders of zion”
Josh: but you gotta keep it on the down low, we don’t want any goyim knowing about it
YourMoralLeader: Reticence is my middle name
Josh: now that you’re a yid, have you become any less bitter
YourMoralLeader: hmm maybe, you’ll have to judge
Josh: i’ve noticed a change
YourMoralLeader: interesting
Josh: in your postings
Josh: you’re less angry
Josh: more optimistic
Josh: it’s a good thing
Josh: how’re the b**ches treating you
YourMoralLeader: with respect
Behind The Music Of Payola
During two years of high school, I did weekly news reports on my school for the local radio station KAHI AM 950.
After spending a year in Australia after graduation in 1984, I returned to Auburn in June 1985 and went to work at KAHI and its sister station KHYL.
In 1987, the radio stations were sold. The new owners issued us with a manual. It had a special section on payola. It said it was a dirty word and that we should never accepts gifts for doing anything on the air.
I read the hit book “Hit Men” about the payola scandal.
Dennis Prager's First Book
I feared there would be no original content in Prager’s column. He’d just rehash things he’d said thousands of times before. I was wrong. There’s an original story about his first book:
We sent the manuscript to the Jewish Publication Society of America (JPS), hoping they would publish it. I received a call from an editor at JPS who told me that they would not publish the book. I asked her why, and her answer taught me a great deal about Jewish life: �Because it is too advocative,� she said.
I was stunned. The Jewish Publication Society of America refused to publish a Jewish book on the grounds that it was �too advocative� of Judaism?
As it turned out, that rejection was a blessing. Joseph and I published the book on our own and sold so many copies that we lived off the sales of the book at lectures for years. Later Simon and Schuster published the book.
God Loves You, Baby
Have you ever heard a Jew talk that way?
I have not. If we heard a Jew talk that way, we’d send him for psychological help, notes Dennis Prager.
So why don’t Jews talk that way?
The Torah has a lot about love in it. God loves Israel. We’re commanded to love God, to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.
I think I know why Jews don’t talk this way. Because Christians do.
I heard so much about “God loves you!” growing up as a Christian, that I never want to hear it again.
Jews living in Christian lands hear so much Christian love talk, faith talk, charity talk, that they never want to talk this way. The pragmatic concrete practical Jewish mind is repelled by this Hellenic airy fairy talk.
I'm Having More CFS Relapses
Since I’ve started Alexander Technique teacher training, I’ve been having more Chronic Fatigue Syndrome relapses than normal.
Why? Because I’m pushing myself more.
I used to arrange my life so I could stay home 90% of the time and work from my computer. Now I drive to school every day and learn the Technique and then drive home and work like mad to pay the bills.
I get up every morning before six and go to shul. Then I go to yoga almost every night.
It’s a full schedule for a frail man and every few weeks, I collapse into exhaustion and don’t leave the house for a few days.
Heshy Fried Of Frum Satire
Heshy Fried operates FrumSatire.net.
I hung out with Heshy for four hours Sunday night.
Things started out in the hovel and then moved to Haifa restaurant on Pico Blvd.
Luke: “Heshy, when you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?”
Heshy shakes his head. “No idea. There was a time when I wanted to be a professional mountain biker.”
“I went through the extreme sports. I wanted to be one of those guys in the extreme games drinking Mountain Dew and getting those really hot skater girls.”
Luke: “I read on your Wikipedia entry that your mother died of cancer when you were six. Was she sick for a long time?”
Israeli Sex Under False Pretenses
Here’s a hilarious story from Israel: “A Palestinian man has been convicted of rape by deception after having consensual sex with a woman who had believed him to be a fellow Jew.”
Oy, what will the goyim think?
Oy, did I ever get things from women under false pretenses? Did I pretend to be Orthodox prior to completing my Orthodox conversion?
I don’t think I want to answer these questions.
Prior to 2009, most people in my life assumed I had already completed my Orthodox conversion because, for all intents and purposes, I lived as an Orthodox Jew.
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